Making new friends can sometimes be difficult even to the most social butterfly. I think when put into a situation, I do pretty well most of the time when meeting people. I try to make things less awkward as possible by asking them questions and being interested in them. And after all that is gone, you need to decide whether or not you want this person in your life. Trying to figure out your own intentions vs. whether this person is mechanically built the same way as you is different. That might not make any sense so let me further explain what I mean.

Friendship is really important to me, but I need to know when to give up on one. For example, time and time again, for some reason every time I’ve been rejected by someone I normally dont mind putting myself in that “friendzone” because I want to be close with them and I want to get to know this person more even though they dont feel the same way. But I’ve realized that if your intentions are different, most of the time this friendship doesnt work out. I’ve put these people on pedestals and I’ve had these wildy high expectations of them. When they fail to fullfil them, I usually get really disappointed or even angry with them. I need to realize that its not their fault their actually terrible people and incompatible friends (doesnt happen all of the time, but most.)

Now I will explain the latter of that last part in the first paragraph. I dont mean that your friends have to have the same common interests as you. They dont need to look like you, dress like you, like the same music or even the same hobbies. When I look at my friends we’re all so different in some ways. we may have some similar interests because we have rubbed off on each other, or thats initially how we got to know each other. But you realize who your real friends are when a situation arises and you both have to figure out how to deal and get through. I am the type of person who doesnt hint things, if I’m angry or upset, I will tell the said person who is making me feel that way because to me, it shows that I care enough to say something and vice versa. I would much prefer a screaming match then a silent argument where you have to pretend that nothing happened the next day. I need to hear these things out loud and in person. When you speak to me, and I to you, it shows me that I’m worth your time and worthy of being your friend.

I guess there are more factors to look at when making and establishing new friendships, but these are the main things I’m concerned about.

ice-bitch:

Okay so I get that I can be a little pretentious and too vain at times but I’ve spent a good chunk of my life believing that I was the ugliest thing alive and that I would never amount to anything. I’m sorry if my new found self confidence bothers some people but I don’t plan on going back to how I was before. I’m so done with feeling sorry for myself, I don’t have the fucking time for it anymore.

So it’s cool if you say that I’m too full of myself or that I’m not even that pretty and that I shouldn’t be showboating when the boat is only a canoe, because that’s what you fucking see, but it’s not what I see. I’m a goddamn yacht sailing on an ocean of suck my balls.

Ice bitch out.

Fantastic post.

As the title above didnt give enough away, I feel like I fall short of other people’s expectations of me. I never realized how much some people thought I was “cool” and wanted to be my friend. Especially my friends now. I dont know how I could’ve scared them enough to not approach me earlier on in high school. But they tell me now and I really wonder. I’m glad for the friends I’ve made and kept. But I think about the ones I’ve had then lost. Did they have expectations of me that have fallen short, and because of this I’ve just faded out of their lives? I’m thinking about it and it hurts a lot more having a falling out with someone as opposed to actually doing something wrong. Its like when couples break up because one of them has “fallen out of love”. The other cant help but ask what is wrong with themselves. People have fallen out of love with me through our friendships. That ultimately is why people leave, right?

The funny thing is, is that I thought eating healthy would be more difficult. I think its the fact that I’m not in school and I dont have a job at the moment helps to be honest. I have a lot of time to prepare my food and eat it at the correct times. 

I’m not going to lie, sometimes its hard to resist the temptation of stealing a fry or two from my sister. But most of the time I will tell myself out loud “no!” and just walk away.

Getting rid of the negative people in your life becomes more difficult when you realize that you cant get rid of family. You are probably the one person with whom I can never be fully honest to. I’ll always continue to pretend like nothing’s wrong when its a lie. You’re selfish and you only use me when you need someone to talk about your problems. You dont genuinely care about me. I find it hard to believe that you even genuinely care about others. I dont know what to do or say to you anymore.

I dont know what to do with my life and its scares me that I’m becoming useless.

But I need to stop and continue positive thoughts.

This losing weight thing and healthy active living is definitely going to be hard at first but I think I can do it. After meeting with this awesome guy today at Extreme fitness, Kai, who helped me figure out what goals I want to achieve etc etc. I really dont believe that gyms are trying to steal everyones money. So basically if you didnt hear, I won 3rd place in a raffle and Kai called me telling me I had won a free 30 day membership full access to everything. He was really helpful and kind, giving me all the information I needed. So then I asked him about a full year membership an how much it would cost etc etc. So  he showed me the initial membership which was $38 bi-weekly. Which would end up costing $1030.56 for the year. Some how this magic man got me a student deal (without me actually being an official student until september) and I ended up getting a deal that was $25.50 bi weekly. So with tax and all it would only cost me $691.56 for the whole year which is fan-fucking-tastic. I’m definitely saving over $300 for the year (plus, because I have a free month, my membership is actually 13 months! woot woot. ) Initially I wanted a membership at goodlife because I thought extreme fitness would be too extreme. (LOL) but seriously, this gym is fucking swaggin!

• There is a fucking TV on every cardio machine!
• All the classes are included in my membership (spin, step, yoga, hot yoga, zumba, etc.)
• I have access to pool and sauna
• my membership includes 6 consultations with a consultant who can help me figure out how much fat I actually have, how to lose it, how to eat healthy, what my goals are, if I’m improving, etc.
• If I’m going on vacation for a month (which I probably will be next year) I can freeze my account so I dont have to pay for the month or dont have to pay for a cancelling fee.
• And! I have 2 free guest passes for anyone who wants to come with me in the future (obviously I wont ask you right now because I’m just starting and I really want to focus…) how fucking exciting!!!

I may be a little more excited than my mother only because for now she’ll have to pay for my membership, but I dont start getting billed until June, so hopefully I can get a job by then. poop.